Monday, February 15, 2010

Strict recorder

From my journal notes of this afternoon

I want to write about the post-Narcissus idea


the Greek myth/Ovid certainly doesn't seem to end on that note
and I always thought that was the end of the story
I'm so glad it isn't

Don't walk away from true love
That seems to be a running theme with many
of the songs
So true.
That's just what J did, so many years ago
I don't really blame him.
Our culture was (is) so twisted, the way we were all raised
The Playboy culture. Materialism, professional success (more than that).
It was a narcissistic culture, but redemption is possible.
You know, I started out on a path to be a rank N--
I was very, very screwed up. I was in the "zero" group, and it
wasn't hard to look down on the 1s, 2s, 3s, and
the utterly foreign Sp Ed kids & Mongoloid children
There was a retarded girl on my street and I wasn't
esp. kind to her. I think at times I was quite disdainful.
I think there just came a point (when? must think about this)
that I tried to be kind -- or at least not overinflate my ego,
pretend to be more or other than I was, because I simply couldn't
sustain the lie.

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