Saturday, February 27, 2010

blah blah blah blah blah

My darling, this late afternoon finds your darling feeling less than sparkly and shiny, more achey and bone-tired. A great mix of emotions. Skies have been cold and grey all day long. Delightful diversity at the bird feeders though - at least they're happy. I had the most amazing dreams about us last night - visceral, a gift. I have a sense of unreality in my waking hours. Who could make this stuff up? Not me. So much that's disturbing in the world - today's earthquake, and the tsunami threat, and then perusing the Huffington Post main page and connecting the image of the (to my mind) Queen of the PostHumans with the image of the "children" (?) on Jaime Oliver's show. Those children - those faces. How can innocent children have faces such as that? They are utterly soulless - impoverished on every level. This has been a conscious state of affairs. Those children are the deliberate end result of our culture and economy. Devolution.

My dearest, how can I be expected to be so scintillating and up all the time? I have literally been housebound all week, except for walks around here. It contributes to my sense of unreality. I am out of memories for the moment, and besides for me (and for you too, I know) I'd rather think about the future. But I want us to make our future together, dream it together - I can't use this blog to spin fantasies about that (so different from examining memories). Plus, talk about jinxes.... just a bad idea all around.

When the time comes and I'm checked into some exceedingly quiet place - an alcove, say - I will try my hand at composing a song, in honor of the incredible cornucopia pouring forth unceasingly from KZE. What would I have done these days without those songs? I can't tear myself away. Not even to see Dear John or Crazy Heart.

Oh to be killing chickens in Italy, or counting endless days in a shimmering desert...

Later, darling. So thinking of you, on a cellular level, absolutely every microsecond of every moment...

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