Saturday, March 31, 2012

Oh sweetheart, I am missing you, and feeling between things. I'm clicking on stats, on the photo that my date took of me yesterday (one of the few images of me that I think is actually quite nice), thinking about -- oh, I don't know, I'm a little at low ebb today, my thoughts scattered. It's been chilly, damp and gray all day. I stopped in at the church and ran through the hymns once more, in advance of tomorrow. Good thing, since I'd had a nightmare last night, how I completely bombed during a service - had forgotten to turn on the organ, played the wrong hymn, and that one badly. I've been thinking of my date yesterday, he sent me a couple of beautifully written messages overnight - another Cyrano (me being one too). And I've been quite taken with his messages... funny - I don't know what to make of it. The Mysteries of Alchemy. And here comes, just now, a page hit from "Schenectady" -- only I think that maybe it's actually from NW Connecticut, a CL date that didn't go well -- and yet, here he is (I think?) still looking at my blog. If it's you - you - I'd give you a second chance, I would, but let's make it a meal already, break some bread. Come to Hudson. I've got a half-price certificate to the Swoonery. That will cover, oh, I don't know, a few olives and a small appetizer -- no, I'm kidding, it's for $25 - we can get some nice food off it, and I'll let you cover any drinks, plus tax & tip (excluded from this certificate). I would give you a second chance, I would. As I would yesterday's date - he'd like to keep in touch, meet again, and I feel myself a bit tidally pulled, or at least tempted, he's just so very nice, poetic & romantic about it -- and this is after his actually meeting me.

Oh what else today... I lay down for a nap, still wearing a bit of makeup (this was after a 'session' - marvelous, you, & no headache), and I've decided that I do look better with a touch of mascara... and after my nap I woke up, thinking I might try to rouse myself to do a workout (what with your allusion, with reference to me, to Vera Farmiga's legs) but couldn't quite, in the end, muster the energy. So I sat at my desk, trying to motivate myself, watching a documentary about Patti Smith on PBS instead. I really like her -- she reminds me of E.D., in a way -- just so resolutely her own person... fulfilled in so many ways... she's got all sorts of adoring people around her... but she'd bomb on CL, probably. So would E.D.

Next door neighbor is revving his motorbike. I've rarely seen him close up, in all the years we've lived here. We wave to each other, if I'm out on a walk and he's passing by in one of his trucks. But today I stopped by one of the supermarkets, in hope of cut flowers (anemic, perhaps because it's pre-Easter), and there he was, marching out of there. I recognized him -- kind of a gumsnapping good ole' boy type, good looking in a bland boyish way -- and I was going to say 'hi', but weirdly, he didn't seem to see or recognize me, as we crossed paths.

Other than that -- oh sweetheart, I'm so tired - you know what I would enjoy? a nice fire in the hearth, you know, after I post this, I might just go try to organize one -- I've been listening to, over & over, a netflixed David Gray concert, that I'm absolutely loving, though no Stella...

tell the repo man, and the stars above
that you're the one I love, you're the one I love...

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