Thursday, March 29, 2012

Hi sweetheart, a few glimpses of bulbs growing about the garden, daffodils, hyacinth, scilla... I'm a little on tenterhooks at the moment, breakfast date tomorrow morning, on the early side, for me, and I'm not at my best in the morning, but I'll do my best. I'm glad to be meeting this guy without a bazillion tiresome emails. Either it will work, or it won't. But I have good vibes about this one, I'm crossing my fingers. That we'll connect, that is... I don't know, did you ever see an absolutely wonderful teleplay called, Bed Among the Lentils? I saw it years ago, and I think of it from time to time. It was written by Alan Bennett, and the teleplay I saw featured Maggie Smith, who plays (as I recall) the lonely, misunderstood, neglected wife of a busy English vicar. It's a dramatic monologue, actually, start to finish, just Dame Maggie (younger then, late middle-age) telling her story... of how she finds the most unlikely and fulfilling comforting extramarital love interest, with a lonely, gentle, kind Indian grocer...

The fellow I'm meeting isn't South-Asian, or an emigre, or whatever, that isn't my point. I just sense that he too is someone in a trying situation on many levels, desperately trying to connect -- I can relate & respond to that, I totally get it. Just on a really deep warm human level. Yes - I would say - emotional connection, if it happens - that is, that's what he is seeking - not just the gratifying hour.

Anyway, we'll see. We're both old enough to --- well, I suppose, to be kind I think. I think he's mature. This isn't about 'spankings.' Not that there's anything wrong with that. Except that for me, personally, it's not the kind or level of connection that I would like with a man. Oh, anyway, enough explainery. Though I did come across, in today's Cary Tennis, a great term that I'd never heard of before -- I'll link to his column, and to his link within it. Awesomely useful term -- and I must say, it describes the filmic productions that reel in my head when I get busy -- I am happy to know there's a word for it!

So I'm looking forward to tomorrow, though with a few butterflies & trepidations. I look alright, in a presentable country housewife sort of way. And not that I wish to transform myself into something or someone or not. Still, I wish I could wave a magic wand and suddenly have the subtlest (read, probably: expensive) makeover -- perfect cut & color, manicure & pedicure (including nail polish), makeup -- you see, I don't wear any, anymore, but am thinking that that is an area I'd like to reconsider -- though I did buy a lipstick the other week, and enjoy using it -- and yes, perhaps just the right outfit, flattering & perfect for a stylish country-inn breakfast date.

I will try my best for tomorrow, of course, but I simply fall short (sort of like those whittled down points regarding Olympic skaters... no 10.0 here, more like 8.8 (I hope), on style & presentation. No, what I have to offer isn't perfection. But I do try... within my means...

Oh I don't know. I've ironed a blouse. I won't wash my hair in the morning, I won't have time - I washed it yesterday. I have nice underwear. Perhaps not the sexiest -- but it would feel funny to wear my sexy underwear underneath the outfit I've settled on for tomorrow (that I'm not thrilled with). Most importantly, I've studied the road map, and plotted out a course for myself, so hopefully I can get there without getting lost. There is something about these Columbia County roads -- no matter how many times I've traveled them.... Route 22 connects to --- now how do I get to Route 203 from there, do I turn left or right at that road's end?

I include a short clip from the teleplay I mentioned above... I haven't watched the whole thing (the first few moments of it are quite lugubrious, it must be near the beginning of the story)... but I assure you that, even at the point if/when this particular clip ends, there is quite an uplifting joyous ending to this story as a whole, which shows on the character's face as she comes to life, and finds love...

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