Sunday, March 25, 2012

Hello sweetheart, sneaking up behind your chair to put my arms around you and give you a big kiss on the top of your head - only of course you tilt your head up, so it's a proper delicious buss. After a chilly, damp, gray morning in the last few hours it turned into a beautiful sunny day, and so my plans, as I tried to settle on them, kept changing as my mood and the weather changed. At first I'd thought I might drive down to Rhinebeck but since it was so gray - nah, save it for a nicer weekend. Then I thought I might go see a one-time (locally) screening of a movie that co-won the Grand Prize at Cannes a year or two ago -- I figured it must be at least pretty good. But I was wary of its 2-1/2 hour length, I wouldn't have been home til after seven, and I've been missing you all day and wanting to commune with you properly, since yesterday evening my writing felt a little rushed. So after lunch I lay down for a bit, fell asleep, woke up refreshed, ready for my excursion. On my way along country roads eastward I stopped at the local international arts colony, at their cafe, for a reviving cup of coffee -- ahh, delicious. I was still aiming for the movie, but oh it was just so glorious out, moon roof open, flying along the roads... besides, I was in the mood for sheep's milk camembert, straight from the source, it's been a long while. (Though seriously, I'm going to have to pull up my bootstraps in the smart-dieting department, what with bad Chinese, exquisite French pastry, copious pours (in melting-ice-filled glasses) of wine, etc., etc.) So I gave up any pretense of heading to a darkened theatre, and gave in to my insatiable, exuberant appetites, dreaming lascivious thoughts & conjuring impossibly intoxicating images of you the whole way, darling -- yes, I kept my eyes on the road, in one sense, but - a little like the photo above - superimposed was this whole other wonderful scenario where you & I were together, and enjoying imbibing each other entirely - zero calories, no - fewer, even, than that - given the absolutely delightful vigorous calorie-burn that feels not like exercise but the most exquisite form of play. (Ah, and this was after I'd had a gratifying time with you, in the bedroom, completing the day's trifecta before it was even two -- all this, and church too -- so, busy morning.)

At the farm grazed and meandered a couple of individualistic free-ranging sheep, and a donkey that mingled among a flock of sheep. As I approached, it rolled on its back in joy, happy for the springtime warmth & sunshine, as are we all. It clambered to its hooves quicker than I could snap a shot in its exuberant momentarily supine position, and then regarded me balefully as I snapped shots.

Home now, and I've just enjoyed the most indulgent delicious snack of the creamy, mildly tangy, ultra-fresh camembert, spread on a slice of rustic sourdough - I'd stopped by a bakery too, on what turned out to be my scavenger hunt of rounds, completed with a stop at the wine store for a bottle of chilled white rioja. Ahhhhh--- heaven.

I can't help but see a connection with the Gospel reading from this morning, about which the very wonderful, intelligent, insightful Reverend delivered yet another eloquent, deeply-considered sermon. "Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life." (John 12:20-33) The Reverend hastened to assure the congregation that we aren't to hate our life, or the world -- that in fact (and she gestured, again, at the banner hanging there)... "for God so loved the world..." No, she said, rather it's Jesus in his way, cryptically, almost as in a riddle, stating - or overstating - something in such a way as to grab our attention. It's really a statement about human suffering --- that there's nothing good per se about suffering, which is inescapable in life, but is not the end, or point of it. So if you are unhappy, troubled, grieving, sorrowing, enduring physical pain, etc. -- suffering, in your life in this world -- it isn't for naught....

And so I do very very much love my life in this world -- and I will lose it, as do we all. And I hate the suffering -- oh, but I am so very glad for the happy joyous engaged loving bits.

Love you darling. Many kisses. Isn't that camembert divine?

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