perpetually starting notes to you

4-ish. Dearest, I'm up in the aerie, eating slices of apple. I woke from my nap and just took a stroll around the property. The frog "pond" (size of a kiddie pool) has a lid of ice, but in the flower borders bulbs are poking through the earth and there are buds on the trees. We planted something on the order of 40 trees since we've been here. It's like a boarding school for trees - they're all young, not even teenage. But they are getting bigger and one day the place will have green shade. I wonder where you are, what you're up to.

5. My dearest love, let me try to write to you as though this were a private letter, just between me and you. I miss you constantly.

Music that feeds the soul, that feeds the right brain that's been locked in chains by control freak left-brain.

5:15. Darling love, It has been such a beautiful day today, spring is in the air - mud and robins at the conservation area, bulbs poking through the earth here, small buds on our young trees - they made it through winter. I enjoyed being able to wear lighter clothing on my walk today, my breasts, braless, pushing against my shirt. A luxury I can indulge in now while I'm still wearing a camouflaging fleece. Once it's t-shirts and bare arms - well, sartorial norms will be observed. But to return - it was sensuous to be so aware of my body and my skin and nerve endings as I walked.

I don't have much to report. Breakfast was an omelet with mushrooms and goat cheese. Lunch was a salad of baby spinach and chicken left over from last night, with avocado, tomato and the last drops of balsamic vinaigrette. I drove to the conservation area and took my walk. I checked out my usual blogs, twitters, and websites. Read the introduction of Iain McGilchrist's The Master and His Emissary. His analysis of how the divided structure of the brain, usually in conflict (rather than cooperation) with itself, in turn projects itself on the world -- well, brilliant - explains a lot, including our own personalities and inner conflicts, played out in the world.

Listening to music that feeds the soul. Later, dearest.

5:40 Thinking about my walk and how I surveyed the landscape off the beaten path, thinking all sorts of primordial thoughts of you and me, or maybe just the one.

6:10 A beautiful Somewhere Over the Rainbow streams... and I suddenly remember I saw blue birds on my walk today, in the field - not jays - bluebirds of happiness, the first I've ever seen -