Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Hi sweetheart - where have you been all day? Are you in transit again?

I've stayed put myself, except in my mind. Yesterday may have been both my first - and last - time in a beemer. He and I briefly communicated today and while in a previous exchange he had described his physicality as "all muscle" - well, it's not just his physicality. It's okay - better to learn sooner, than later - so we both bailed. There's a certain kind of sexuality that goes with a car like that -- and I'm not the all-muscle woman for it. Also -- I think (or so he seemed to suggest) that he thinks he wants a genuine relationship -- but I don't think so. The guy is very good looking, rich, successful -- but from my point of view, values, what turns me on -- kind of empty and hollow. I don't mean that judgmentally, really, it's more that he wasn't my type at all. But the thing is -- he shouldn't have the slightest problem whatever finding the female counterpart to him -- aren't they all over the place? At least in the mass-media? I wish him well, maybe - probably - he's as divided and frustrated - as all the rest of us. Still -- that was a hell of a car. I felt as though I'd had a chance to go up in a state-of-the-art rocket, it was as marvelous as that. But alas - among other things, his idea of a 'good time' wasn't exactly Sunday drives with me in that spaceship along scenic byways of Vermont. No -- it wasn't likely, even if we'd pursued things, that I was ever going to see the interior of that car again.

I'm glad the chess moves happened as they did! It's totally okay.

Ah sweetheart, is that you lighting now via a hidden proxy hit? Who knows. It's been a chilly day, I'm sitting here in jeans and an old - really old, 20 years or more - black cotton snug pullover, very cozy. Dinner will be cornish hens and vegetables -- asparagus, carrots, zucchini -- all of which D will grill.

No, I'm not a pro. I responded to a small handful of CL ads over the last two or three days, and there was a moment yesterday where I could hardly keep all the contacts straight. Things have settled down, thankfully. There may be a prospect or two in the wings, even now as I type -- maybe more my speed, and I theirs.

Dramatic dialogue. (Not, in Frank Langella's antiquarian world view -- of which I have enormous fondness, nostalgia, and sympathy -- for the lofty likes of Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn.)
She: Hi -- I've been thinking about our meeting yesterday -- and am wondering -- if you're free & would still like to -- if you might like to come over to my house for an hour or two, this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon.
I have realized that the idea of your coming over is appealing to me. (I ran the concept by my husband and he's okay with it, and knows to be out of the house - which he would be anyway most every afternoon - but this way, with his being aware, there will be no unexpected quick stops home -- well, you know what I mean.) Anyway, let me know what you think...

He: I would certainly entertain the idea. I would like to know exactly what you would like to happen.

She: Well, we had mentioned t*tf**king... along those lines, and what leads up to it, and whatever after - what would you wish to have happen?

He: t*tf**king, and if that is my purpose for being there i would like the visit to be focused on that purpose

She: I'm a little confused by your tone -- and maybe a little put off -- maybe not such a great idea after all -- I'm not a pro

Okay, granted, this piece needs polishing before it goes on Selected Shorts

all my love dearest

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