Monday, April 30, 2012
you're back over -- oh how I wish your work could find your way somehow to the Port of Albany.
Dearest, I'm fading already, fast. I spent most of the afternoon, mostly bare naked, cleaning the house - overdue. I'm not a Miss Havisham... time enough for that. No, not now while I have the energy to do a workout scrubbing - twice a month, or maybe every two weeks - but whatever - today's April 30 -- time
And I have a CL first-and-?- date tomorrow. Which I never hold out such genuine, realistic optimism for things to go - well -- that well.
My day was mostly very physical. I took a walk with weights around here. I downloaded a few youp*rns but found myself curiously not turned on at all. I did laundry.
I didn't have a session, and I didn't have the chance to read the book I wish these days to read.
But tomorrow is another day. The house - and both baths -- so clean, I have a CL date, of which -- well who knows? he seems like
a very pleasant person...
dearest dearest love, wherever you are
now night is falling for sure
and I spent the day cleaning the house
it's always ------- against dust -
I'm not feeling so terribly coherent at the moment
oh - don't worry I'm alright!
from up here I hear birds outside, as night, for real falls, conversing
well, the house is vacuumed & both baths are clean
and so if my CL date goes really super super well tomorrow
I suppose I could say that I'm in a position to host
though that's not -- well -- what do I mean?
I loved it when you all came over and I had just by pure chance
cleaned the house
and had made pizza dough in a bowl rising
I remember coming down the stairs
and you looking up at me
if I could have my way with that scene
that anything could happen
especially since I've just finished cleaning the house
and vacuuming everywhere
oh yeah, I guess that doesn't help
well I just feel this connection with you
and I'm sure it would be amazingly inacandescently specially unbelievably sexual and erotic
and you know what I love about it, thoughts of it?
because I'm a very erotic, passionate woman
but - I don't know - I need to be seduced - loved on
the way you looked at me -- that afternoon that the whole brood descended
sorry darling --- I am not writing, or writing poetry, here,
I am trying to work out - my problematic
as much as I wish 'hot sex' -- and I do --
no, without a doubt, it has to be within a context,
of mutual connection, emotional availability