Whole Wide World

Hello dearest. Up in the aerie. The day could not be more beautiful. I am trying to recover myself. I had a very nice morning, attending the Town Meeting after all, but when I returned home KZE was all staticky, the computer was slow (it took the better part of an hour to unload email & basic website hits). Those two connections alone are my lifelines. Then D came home for lunch and he & I had a horrible fight. He has a way of tearing down all my scenery, everything that keeps me going, and I really can't take it. You know, even if I am taking artistic or whatever license in pursuing whatever I'm pursuing - well, it means a lot to me. It destroys me, literally, when he just blows it to smithereens on a whim. It's very hard on me. I don't know what to do. I don't have the wherewithal anymore in any other direction.

What's going on between D and me now is not what went on the first 20 years. Though I wonder about that too, now.

As I was saying, I am trying to recover myself. And, as I said, the day & the light just now have been beautiful. Just thinking of you has a calming effect on me, also, the steady stream of songs on KZE. I find most of the songs very reassuring, seriously.

Right, the congressional town meeting. I don't have a lot to say about it except that I'm glad I attended, I was very impressed with Rep. Murphy, and also, for the most part, with the comments & queries of the people who formed a line to express their views and concerns to him. I had been a little fearful of a turnout of the Crazed of a Persuasion Not My Own. A few were in attendance, and though I thought a couple of them might have been plants I found their remarks nevertheless to be heartfelt. But honestly, beyond ideology - ignorance is a dangerous thing. For example, understanding the threats to our democracy as being "socialist" as opposed to - well, what are the words? I hesitate at labels that just obfuscate. Corporate totalitarianism? I found it interesting that in the whole town meeting I'm not sure that the word "corporate" or "corporation" came up even once. But that's the real enemy. We need to find a way to talk about it - well, we are - health insurance reform, for starters. But there is a genuine misunderstanding of well-meaning people on that score. (A Vietnam vet who isn't disillusioned? whose daughter in law is from a formerly Communist country - "and could be a model" - oh, aargh.)

Did some Topekaing today and learned via twitter that your talk on 3/28 with your colleagues in Nome was not to be missed. No wonder I feel as though I'm going nuts. Oh, it's okay. I still have those positively narrative Maspeth hits from 8 March to keep me going.

I love you, you.