Friday, April 15, 2011

My darling, gorgeous out today. Started out cold, the sun was deceiving, so I shut down the pellet stove and an hour later regretted it since the tiled solarium cools down quickly. A day of odds and ends. Anxiety attacks, a bit, I don't know, I guess it's the anticipation, I don't want anything to go wrong. As it is I'm sitting here with a heating pad ("warm compress") against a skin inflammation that has suddenly flared up, right when obviously I'm trying to look my best and want everything to go well. I feel like a teenager. There is something about my age, this point in my life, that is like being teenage again, it's another transition, testing waters, seeing what will work for the next - well, whatever span of time. Personal evolution. But I do hope this inflammation will calm down. Perhaps it's the volcanic in me, erupting in advance, subcutaneously.

What a babble. But that's the sort of day it's been. What do I have to report? Stirred up pizza dough, for pissalediere. Tomorrow's a big day, sort of, getting my hair trimmed, doing a big food shopping so that I can cook Sunday & Monday in order to have nice foodstuffs to bringdown for the first few days. I'm excited just now. Cleaning out email I discovered that I had completely forgotten about an interesting sounding talk tomorrow afternoon at the local international arts colony, a sculptor in conversation with - well, I forget who, but possibly I'll report on it once I've been. Not literary, but it'll be interesting to hear a talk on the subject of a completely different art form, one that I don't have occasion to think about very often, but of course is fascinating -- we'll see.

Took a walk this afternoon. Last several days, at the side of the desolate hilly road that winds above the creek, there's been unfortunate kill, a groundhog I think, or possibly a beaver. I've been startled every time I, marching, come hard upon it and swerve away in mingled horror and, I don't know, sympathy (the creature loved its life). Today I took the same route - no furry splay - instead, a very large dark brown bird, big as a turkey, cloaked & stooped, eye in profile regarding me from its small orange head. I addressed it. Are you a vulture? The bird sat on the guard rail by the side of the road right where the dead animal used to be - had the vulture dragged it off, down the dead leaf incline? It flapped its massive wings and improbably - the thing looks so clumsy and massive - took lumbering flight away from me, into a nearby stand of trees, where it settled on a low branch. I continued my walk, lifting weights in various motions, making a mental note to look up the bird in my Sibley's. On my way back I observed a vulture - perhaps the same one - way up high in the sky, wings spread, surfing on air currents. It seemed to slowly spiral ever upwards, without having to work at it, just spreading its wings, catching a current of air, and rising a level, then another, and another, buffetting upwards like stepping up a staircase. It was quite extraordinary. Then way way higher crossed the tiniest silver needle (I couldn't even see the wings) of a jet plane heading - I couldn't tell the direction offhand - diagonally so high up in the sky as I walked below on a winding road.

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