My dearest Narrator, was that the reason -- that you were an Alpha, and I was an alpha, by that kingdom by the sea?

Angels up in heaven - never so happy - have long since lost interest, or become distracted, all these years later, with other, younger fish to fry, now that we're older... I've encountered an Alpha, who's in search of an alpha... he isn't you... Annabel Lee is still here, not chilled & killed... warm to the touch... rosy...

***
Hello darling, I think of you too, dearest, abidingly, and wonder if I'll see you next month. I hope so. I feel as though we've been on a journey together, though you've only seen my side. But you're always there -- many kisses and all my love for that. Oh, don't worry -- I'm not mooking out, I had a really nice day, on the mellow side. Actually, my system felt out of whack for some reason that I can't figure out -- well, no matter. (This blog treats of most everything in my life -- except for maybe that.) I'd bought this lovely dress yesterday, but it really needed 'something' to brighten it up. I never think God is quite so trivial, but I did wonder when at the local department store for which I had a coupon I found the perfect beaded necklace on the 75-percent-off rack - one earthy colorful strand amidst chains of cheap gilt. And the beads instantly reminded me of a necklace I'd bought many years ago, on a week's summer vacation on Cape Cod, in a Wellfleet boutique -- I wore those colored wood beads so much that the paint rubbed off and they became faded and finally I discarded them. So now, for not even five dollars I have an evocative, reminiscent pair -- that absolutely complete the dress, are the final touch, dash of color, the dress needed.

Since I saved so much money on a necklace, I bought a lip color... Because about a month ago, I'd bought one -- in a decision that afternoon, after a CL date at an elegant brunch at a famous inn in Stockbridge -- that I should start wearing just the teeniest bit of makeup again. And so after that first-and-last-date, my returning home, crossing back over state lines, I had stopped at the local department store and shopped for a lipstick, experimentally dabbing colors from silver tubes, on the palette above my thumb. But I haven't been happy with it -- it's too bland, and it disappears within seconds...

anyway --- nicer new shade now, chosen with an expert consultation -- I was able to actually - safely, hygienically - apply the color to my lips -- the two of us - makeup expert & me scrutinized each shade -- and finally one was just right -- oh what's the name of it? I forget... at any rate, it looks lovely on my lovely lips, and brings out the blue of my eyes, and looks natural --

oh, darling -- you're still here?

hope all is well with you -- ah, you know what I mean (wink wink)
I've discovered that German youporn (maybe German porn period) is the best
but youp*rn is down for "maintenance"
or has been most of the afternoon
what I love - of the little I've seen - is the sense of the man enjoying himself -- I'm incredibly turned on, mesmerized by that
You see the man's face, body, physique, excitement, animated moves --
whoever said that women aren't turned on by porn?
or maybe I'm a voyeur?
well I don't know -- it's possible -- I'm very out of practice
and also -- well however I keep going on & on in this vein herein -
oh well, never mind -- do I really need to remind anyone that I'm not a porn star?
No -- really.
Ah, sweetheart -- many, many kisses, love you --
signed
longlast 63 pink spice

(yes in a perfect world, I should have had an image of at least the tiny label at the end of the box, that I should have bothered to take a picture of, since I was able to retrieve my camera back from Bard and all, where I'd spaced it off, and for some reason, have hardly used it since, mostly because I'm so consumed with figuring out (is there a school for this?) distinctions between Upper Case Alpha versus lower case alpha -- )

xoxo