I'm having King Lear-ish moments with my date from yesterday, in email exchanges today. There are all sorts of longings, and urges, and compulsions, don't I know -- and all I can think to say (well, not all, but I simply -- for however ribald I can sometimes be on this blog -- well, maybe it's sideways, I simply have a hard time coming straight on (any more direct than I already am, in all sorts of other ways, such as disregarding my inner voice this morning, which said, wait for him to contact you first -- no I contacted him first --- I don't know - alpha? submissive? do I deserve a spanking? No I decidedly do not, don't even try it -- oh well -- where was I?...
Right, I've got a plum-topped yogurt cake in the oven -- I can smell it now, the fragrance has announced itself, like a butler with an especially congenial calling card-- up the stairs
Don't let me forget -- it should come out in about fifteen minutes...
Anyway I'm zigging and zagging to let you know that I am circling in my mind around the man I met yesterday whom I -- well, he impressed me, things aren't so instant with me, but I don't know...
Here's the Hemingway quote, from The Sun Also Rises...
"You see, Mr. Barnes, it is because I have lived very much that now I can enjoy everything so well. Don't you find it like that?"
"I know," said the count. "That is the secret. You must get to know the values."
Darling, I don't know - I don't have so much this afternoon. I am very impressed (if that's the word) with the man I met yesterday. But I find it hard to describe here. Also I find it hard to tell him directly in messages, thus the Cordelia-like affirmation -- and given your story, everything you told me yesterday -- to think of you as a very, very decent man -- well, that's an understatement.
However I can speak directly to you
and not to him
yet to him
I believe I will be able to give direct kisses
I already know -- I tried -- and it worked out
and so that's how it goes
as I sit here - ah, time to take the fragrant cake out of the oven! -
thinking of my encounter with him yesterday
the very decent and beyond decent sexiness that is him
that makes me think
as we now ping-pong each other
in these exchanges that bounce in different venues all over the place
landing apposite cryptic quotes and messages
and kisses and ---
more - sometime in a toney northern suburb, before you give it up July 1?
and if we make noise -- who'll care? you're out of there - moving!
which is to say, in my next email message to you, perhaps,
so, what train should I take do you think -
hope you're having a pleasant day...