Sunday, May 6, 2012

Hi Belle!! Thanks for the picture, I appreciate it .............. you are certainly cute enough, that's for sure. I'm quite sure that based on looks alone, I'd be attracted to you in real life, make no mistake of that. You are an excellent writer, and that is appealing as well. I can also dig the fact that you are a rather horny girl ........... I really like that a lot!! Artistic women are very creative lovers ........ in my limited experience (-;

But boy oh boy, you kinda have alot of stuff goin' on baby. Husbands, secret muses, old boyfriends, etc ............. I was hoping for something a bit less complicated ............ Maybe just a secret lover to confide in while you work things out.

But it doesn't sound like you are close to that yet, so I'll wish you all the best. You do sound like a wonderful person, and if you finally take that leap, you will be fine! I am sorry you are in the "bad place" many of us have had to endure. It isn't pleasant, I can relate. Good luck!
Yes, I feel discouraged. This lead - that is, he - seemed promising to me. Ah, well. But you know -- if I did have "just" a secret lover to confide in --- probably I wouldn't be trolling CL. Because this lover -- that he imagines -- however secret, would be corporeal. I can't seem to win!

I probably could have lived without the patronizing 'baby' in there too. Sorry I'm not in the successfully-divorced club. Maybe I need a bit of a helping hand with that.

Hi -- Thanks for your very kind note. Look, I think the distance between us is prohibitive enough -- unfortunately. Let me just say in my own defense that if I didn't have these secret -- entirely, practically speaking, noncorporeal male muses of whom to think about, and to whom to write -- seriously speaking, stuck as I am in the boonies in a bad economy without family or friends -- really truly isolated? I would truly have nothing at all. My writing in this fashion has truly been a creative way to try to work my way, at least imaginally, out of my situation. (Ever see that movie with Tom Hanks, where he's deserted on a tropical island, and befriends a soccer ball -- Wilson? It's like that.) I have no doubt that were I to meet the right guy (I'm really not a NSA, casual encounter type at all) -- that he would be -- in every respect, and in particular for his actual physical presence, and genuinely reciprocating communicativeness -- the primary 'light' of my life.

But, of course, I totally respect your decision. I think you're really attractive too, and I like the way you write. So it might have been nice to meet. But it's okay.

Oh, anyway, it's getting late. Where's this 'super moon'? It looks full - but not unusually so.

Have a wonderful night -- and all happiness for the future -- Belle

Can you see why I'm frustrated? We both found each other attractive!! It's the imagination, or lack thereof, that seems to be the sticking point.

But I will admit -- I bungled things, divulged my blog prematurely, didn't play my pawns right -- moved out the Queen too soon. So -- my bad. Why did I do that? Maybe I was feeling a little rushed yesterday morning, when some of our initial promising messaging transpired. I don't know, no excuses. Did I shoot myself in the foot? Because I was also exchanging light messages with another "inquiry," and I didn't divulge the fact of my blog to him -- so I don't know. Though the dynamics between the two 'contacts' varied quite a bit. The latter, it turns out, lives nearly 100 miles away -- the "Hudson Valley" is a HUGE region -- I'd hoped he might be in the Mid- or Upper reaches -- no such luck -- he's a stone's throw from the City. By which I don't mean Albany.

Anyway, I'm trying again... my new motto, it seems: Hope Springs Eternal... on CL.

But I definitely don't want cryptic (patronizing?) asides from any quarters -- secret old boyfriend (just one - singular!) I presume -- about how I'm 'freer.' How the hell am I freer, not ever having a truly satisfying date, or physical encounter with someone? I don't have the slightest doubt that if you set your mind to it you wouldn't go a single weekend without. Though of course, I presume, we're in search of different things. Honestly, I wish I could just go for the purely physical relationship -- the 'secret lover' while I'm biding my time. I'm not wired that way, I'm just not. It would make my life easier in some respects -- if I were wired that way. But since I'm not -- it would only complicate my life, and make me feel bad as well.

Which didn't stop me from responding to a CL yesterday morning, before some of these other messagings with others took place later that morning -- a guy with a jacuzzi and a pool and a campground and the hots and lots of free time. Ah, that went nowhere -- my idea of being seduced isn't a text from him (later that afternoon) that reads 'Let's get together asap!')
I can't this weekend, and honestly, I really did respond (a bit groggily this morning) on a lark
I'm not really looking for a 'casual encounter,' not really
I'd need to know more about you -- yadda yadda
but I wish you the best - of course! -- and truly the campsite, the pool, & all the rest -- sound incredibly idyllic!
have a mai tai for me!
So sweetheart, secret dream lover, how are you? I hope all is well with you. Many kisses.

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