Sunday, March 13, 2011

My dearest, up in the aerie at ten after six, half a turkey roasting in the oven along with baking potatoes, sliced tomato salad arranged on a plate, butternut squash frozen last fall melting in a small pot with dabs of butter and a bit of maple syrup. Have just scanned the KZE playlist from the afternoon, and note The Ballad of the Ancient Decoder as well as, a few songs later, Belle/Banana Pancakes (live). Not to mention that "girl from Ypsilanti" song of Elvis's, the other one. So Belle your anxious decoder, wearing underwear, made strawberry pancakes this morning, though usually it's banana. Beneath my thin sweater layers - no bra. Straining to come up with a lyric about girls in some U.S. burg going braless... no kismet yet.

Dropped D off at a job in town, and took myself down Route 66 north, about a twenty minute drive - comme il faut, obeying all speed limits - to the main street of Chatham, where I saw a wonderful movie called Company Men, with an amazing cast, all turning in very moving, credible, powerful performances, including Ben Affleck, Tommy Lee Jones, and Chris Cooper. It's about the sudden and severe toll that brutalistic corporate downsizing has on individuals (in this film, particularly the expended males, especially those of "a certain age"), their families, and in a larger way, on whole swathes of industrial landscapes, in this movie's case, abandoned and crumbling shipbuilding factory lofts that employed thousands and gave rise to a burgeoning middle class back in the day, last century. It's a really strong movie, required viewing, I feel, for anyone who wants to get in a nutshell the impacts of shifts in the U.S. economy have had on the 99.9% percent who didn't make out like gloating, self-satisfied bandits in the deal. I remember hearing about what you went through, and of course I thought of you, and this time in this particular regard, that you've been through that wringer, you know.

I don't understand the distribution strategy for this movie. It was completed last year I believe, and to my mind deserves wide release and lots of "best" nominations. But for some reason I was seeing it as a feature presentation of a "local" film club - albeit a film club with powerful Hollywood connections, I gather. Anyway, great movie, I'm really glad I saw it. Having just now googled to come up with an image, I see that the movie's playing in Albany too - so perhaps it's just now getting wider release. I wonder what, upon viewing and subsequent discussion, say over a dinner table, corporatist apologists - ever ready with a speech - would make of it.

I am also trying to figure out how anyone googling images relating to genesis picture da vinci would find my blog. I am always the eager, if not necessarily anxious decoder, but that one stymies me. I try to recreate the search, and don't see how it lands on my blog. Okay then, so perhaps it's a message. But if it is - then what does it mean? Did you get transformed too, the way I did? Not exactly what's typically meant by "born again" - but, I don't know, I suppose I do feel that way. There was a lot of pain in the midst, and I do still very much think about 1.0, because he was an agent of my transformation, and good - really great - stuff came of it, but also, very much, a lot of psychic pain, to this very moment. That's what I wish to bury - the pain part. Other parts - the "genesis picture" parts - I want to keep, am so glad to reclaim them. I sit here typing, but this morning I did a vigorous workout and a walk, and I feel really aware of my body. I'm not exactly lean & mean, but I'm leaner, and I have muscle tone, and I've shrunk a few sizes, and I look good in jeans, and now that I'm doing crunches even my abdomen's flattening - all good. As I google-searched images to figure out how someone via Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man image lands on my blog, there was a yoga-related ad showing a woman in an exquisitely athletic, well-balanced pose, that if you can pull that off, truly you must feel really good about yourself in your body - Vitruvian yoga. It's funny, I think for my mother, or her generation, that word yoga was a turnoff, made exercise suspect. And what do I know? I have never done yoga in my life! Though I would like to try, after all the workouts I do, the Vitruvian efforts of mine. You too, my darling, perhaps you too have discovered the possible too -

love you

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