I didn't actually go down with D. I woke up this morning feeling that I couldn't face the car trip, two hours and change down, the same back. My city trip is too fresh. I love going down to the city, but something about the travel, the change of scenery, throws me off. I felt as though I'd just in the last few days begun to resettle into my old routines.
I asked D how he'd feel if he went down by himself. Of course he gave me a little bit of a hard time given the nature of the errand - but ultimately he didn't seem to mind - I cross-examined him on that point several times. "It'll be faster if I go alone," he pointed out, which is probably true, since I'm constantly clutching the dashboard and asking him to slow down. Anyway, he truly didn't seem to mind - still doesn't, he's back now, in a good mood - and I'm grateful, even if I'm feeling a little guilty. But only a little. I sent him down with a nice meal - a lamb pita sandwich with mesclun & Greek yogurt, curried couscous, taboulleh salad. I vacuumed the downstairs. Dinner will be nice - baked potatoes, roast beets, those leftover root vegetables. D's doing the pork chops. They're his thing.
Anyway, glad to have my accouterments back. It went smoothly for D in the shop. The clerk noted that their battery-operated toys aren't always the most reliable, but was delighted that this one's such a hit I wanted two...
My dearest, how are you? How's your weekend been? I'm sorry about my interminable post yesterday evening - it just went on & on, blatheringly. I could hardly stand to read it this morning. I think it's a symptom of my wishing to have simply been with you, so I kept hanging on to the post, on & on, plus maybe creeping anxiety that I was trying to quash, about the impending daytrip...
So I had a very pleasant, relaxing day, and got everything in (well almost) that I felt I needed to - that is, a workout and a walk. I'm not really trying to lose weight or drop sizes (though probably I should feel a little more motivated in that direction) but I'm absolutely resolute and vigilant about at the very least maintaining my hardwon physical fitness and toned (if still full) figure. Perhaps - no, not perhaps - that's another reason I really didn't wish to sit in the car most of the day - I felt I needed vigorous exercise, I'd missed too many days in the last week...
So I took a walk around here, camera in pocket. It was a beautiful day, intermittently overcast, but mild. Whatever leaves were green last week are now deep amber, due soon to fall off...
I did a good concerted workout to a bad Sean Connery/Catherine Zeta-Jones movie. She is lovely. Her perfect dancer's physique was an inspiration as I went through my own paces.
Darling, I have little report tonight, and I won't go on & on. But you were in my dreams last night. Here's what I noted this morning - I could only remember bits of it.
You & I are together. We long to touch but can’t, we’re not by ourselves and we mustn’t be caught, noticed. We sit close together and I surreptitiously place my hand on your thigh and you gently move it off – too risky. But then you reach behind me and kiss the back of my neck, inhale me – you're being far more overt (I think in my dream) than I had been...…***
You're helping your youngest with some sort of project that involves cutting sheets of blank mail labels. I help, cut some too, along a line. The child is pleased with my effort - I’m doing it right, in her eyes.
You and I are at a pool together, wish to be together, but mustn’t be noticed or caught…
Darling, and so that's it for now sweetheart. Many kisses. See you again in my dreams. Til then, wherever you are, holding you tight - trzymaj się.
***
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