Thursday, June 3, 2010

many happy returns

Good afternoon dearest. Very warm and humid today, thick and oppressive. Rainstorms later. Soon I hope. I myself feel permeated with the saturated air, a feeling of being unsettled, restless, full of feeling, wanting to burst, bursting with fullness, drawing towards, wanting - but what? yearning, longing, desiring to be deep in the midst of it, to touch, to embrace - but what? It's at the edge of my vision, out of reach, the strength of it, the expectancy, the endless cloud, the impending, it has to happen, it thickens, it gathers, nears, what I want, oh where is it. A good hard, hard, hard, hard

Rain is what I want.

I had a start upon reading the dates of your trip - they coincide with significant dates in my personal calendar. You leave on my "Name Day" and return on my birthday. Bookends of your redoubled absence. I'll kiss you goodbye on the one and greet you with a kiss (I hope) on the other. Wszystkiego najlepszego. Happy Birthday.

I haven't thought about my Name Day (imieniny, in Polish) in a long time. I make the connection when the day rolls around if I happen to notice the date. In Polish circles imieniny are regarded as a special occasion, marked with well-wishes, gifts, flowers, cake, get-togethers and the like. They're more important than birthdays. But I'm not in Polish circles and haven't observed mine (or anyone else's) in a long time. My parents would make a "small fuss" on our imieniny when we were children - occasion for a cake of the namesake's choice from Karp's Golden Glo Bakery (somewhere in downtown Stamford - Summer Street?). My favorite was maple walnut. Or strawberry shortcake. It was like having two birthdays a year - two cakes anyway. Or maybe it was more like having two half-birthdays. The older we got the more the days got watered down. Name Days came to be celebrated half-heartedly since we were American, and birthdays half-heartedly since we were Polish. Gifts were not unconditional - they depended on whether we were good or not. I have memories of receiving a gift in the morning of my Name Day or birthday only to have it taken back due to some intolerable infraction in the afternoon. Hot tears. I could not catch a break!

Many virtual kisses, my love. Hope your day is going well. Later again maybe, if rain in the form of inspiration hits.

No comments:

Post a Comment