Peaceful here this morning. I'm in a langorous, reflective mood. The sky's been a blank pall but now the sun is breaking through. Embroidered Indian panels cover the bottom half of the window in the tiny aerie study, and all that's visible from the top half is sky, treetops, and occasional birds, pigeons mostly - doves - flitting past, images darting across a screen. The heat wave continues. I'm fine in here. KZE is on low, the A/C is going, a small fan attached to the desk whirs and blows on my bare skin. Feels nice.
Went to the pool yesterday and it was such a miserable experience that I have a draft complaint letter started to the parks commissioner. The city administration changed the pool hours citywide yesterday, which threw people off because there wasn't advance notice. As a result, where I was (in a scene that I have little doubt was played out similarly at pools across the city), hundreds of people stood on line in 90+-degree heat and sun for well over an hour before being let in. Then, not 20 minutes later, we were all kicked out of the water because there weren't enough lifeguards. The adult lap lanes were closed in order to redeploy guards to the middle section which was opened now to accommodate the crowds. Hundreds of people stood on the pool deck for who knows how long (I left after a few minutes) as lifeguards dragged their chairs and assumed their new positions, surely something that could have been done while the pool was closed - say, while we were all waiting on line.
It's funny, thinking of you as a field marshal where you are, because that latent aspect of myself was coming out (in my own mind at least) as I waited to get in. A parks staffer surveying the long line came up to me as I stood (I looked brisk, I suppose). He was really nice and apologetic and tried to explain the problem, and I give him credit. It certainly wasn't his fault. The problem was lack of competent management and adequate contingency planning for a heat emergency. I myself was hearing about the coming heat wave for a good week before it arrived. The City can't claim that it was was caught offguard. There was nothing sudden or unexpected about it, not to mention that extremes in weather appear to be the New Normal.
One aspect of the experience that I feel discouraged and dispirited about is that I believe the main goal of government officials was to try to conserve the energy grid, not that that isn't a critical goal. They encourage people to cool themselves off at the pool instead of running their fans and air conditioners. In response to energy demands they sought to expand times the pool was open by shuffling the hours - but as a direct result they stressed those seeking relief from the heat even more. In changing the hours without notice, and not lining up enough lifeguards by timely authorizing overtime (as a guard told me would be the case starting today), the administration did not sufficiently take into account the impact of its actions on the the basic human needs and comfort of young families, mostly, and many, many small children.
Ah, I'm in no mood to rant now. I want to feel mellow. And yet there are other themes that I see. I have some kind of resistance fighter in me that kicks in. The crowd was complacent, didn't even seem really annoyed to have to stay in line for so long in the blazing sun. Well, bless them for their patience - but is such obedient, mindless submission so acceptable in a citizenry? I felt that they had a right to be angry. I felt angry. I talked to a couple of staffers who were very nice & calm - as was I, though analytical and pointed. I'm expressing my frustration here in words, and when I get back home upstate I'll finish the letter to the commissioner. I'm speaking for myself and not to be presumptuous, but I think I speak for others on that line yesterday too.
I had the feeling of very small-minded petty bureaucrats running the pool, inmates running the asylum. I had the sense of being at a correctional facility, a prison, a camp. A population being controlled, herded, and toyed with - certainly not cared for. As they finally started letting people in, I was spritzed by a sprinkler that a staffer had set up to water a young, already dead tree and dead flowers. Was the garden being watered? Or was the crowd - rather than being smoothly and efficiently admitted to the pool - being symbolically hosed to cool off?
And people accept this, as though that's all they deserve, all they're due. The masses are micromanaged and they're used to it. New Yorkers flatten themselves out so as to get by.
Also, when I see a problem - my mind wants to find a solution, try to fix it. I like for things to run smoothly, and to see things improved. But that's not the way the world works, is it? To try to fix a problem can be viewed as a challenge to the status quo, the system.
This experience brought back to me why I was happy to leave the city of mindless enforced conformity. I really had enough of the feeling of being tamped down, too often for stupid reasons.
After the all the chaos, the two hours I spent to get in a ten-minute swim, as I left the pool a staffer called after me.
"You leavin'?"***
"Yeah - why?"
"Cause you're wearing shoes. They should be in a locker."
Sorry darling, this post is a mess. It's 11 in the morning and I don't really have a plan for today. Believe it or not, I'm thinking about going to the pool. But I still don't have a lock, and now they know I wear shoes.
I hope all is well with you darling.
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