The Cursing Cinderella

Okay, ball tonight. What to wear? Pink turtleneck, brown denim, pink cashmere cardigan. Damn. That cardigan shrank when I accidentally threw it in the drier. Okay then grey cotton cardigan. But it looks bad with the brown denim. Okay, so wear blue denim? But this doesn't seem like a blue jeans kind of day. Okay. Then wear a blue cashmere sweater set with the brown denim. No that's just way too loaded. Oh for god's sake. Must iron pocket flap of brown denim. Leaning towards that again. Maybe the tan sweater set? That's so October. Oh holera jasna.

Ping-pong, B.C.E.

Comments posted on Food Network Barefoot Contessa online discussion board, May 1-2, 2004

ElTonyO
“Mummy’s gone to Paris to buy hats, and Daddy’s pranged the Bentley,”… screamed Ina Garten, as a child, to the ice cream man who waited payment.

It was from this sad neglected moment, that barefoot contessa swore to avenge her neglect!

… the rest is history

GlynMS
This is better than the book on my bedside table
Glynda

carlakeet
“Oh Edwina, it’s times like this you know who your true friends are,” sniffed Ina. She dabbed a handkerchief to her eyes and regarded the fireplace. Her dreams had once seemed like that – a fire that simply refused to start.

Edwina, anticipating her friend’s unspoken desire, sprang from her chair. “I’ll give it another poke,” she said. After a moment a cheery fire blazed in the hearth.

Ina beamed. “A cozy fire, a plate of sautéed cabbage. What could be better?”

“Friendship,” Edwina responded. “Good friendship.”

Ina held up the pair of hot pink gloves her friend had brought with her as a present. “And a good pair of gardening gloves!,” she said with a laugh.

It might have crossed the mind of a lesser soul than Edwina that if she was expected to plant the perennial she’d brought as a hostess gift, Ina might at least have offered her the use of the gloves. Edwina had taken care to change for dinner with her best client and special friend and it was irksome now to have dirt under her nails. But no such petty thought encumbered Edwina. She was known for her good nature, and consummate skill with even the most difficult Hamptons hothouse flowers.

“What was the name of that plant you got me again? I know it started with an ‘L.’”

“Lespedeza,” Edwina replied. Regarding her friend she added evenly, “Also known as bush clover.”

Ina blanched and set down her fork. “That was the last name of Daddy’s girlfriend, Myrtle Bush-Clover. She was in the Bentley that awful day when he pranged it and Mummy discovered he was having an affair and ran off to Paris. So many years ago now, yet I remember it as if it were just yesterday.”

Edwina knew this already. Oh, how she knew. Married, she was now known as Edwina Botanick. But unbeknownst to Ina she had been raised as Edwina Bush-Clover. Her mother Myrtle had raised the girl single-handedly in the countryside of a small mountainous European country where Ina’s daddy had ensconced them…”

“… and so the ice cream man never did get paid because no one seemed to have any cash,” Ina was saying.

to be continued...

Cilantro Soup!

Imagining a potential event at the Ruth Reichl Cooking School....

Originally posted by Belle (then carlakeet) on the FoodNetwork Barefoot Contessa comments board, 3 July 2004.

Here's my entry for the "Entertaining Ina" contest. I figure this is one event that Ina, the woman who has been everywhere and done everything, has never attended.

THE FIRST EVER CILANTRO CONFERENCE

The world is divided into people who love cilantro – and those who don’t. How can we bridge the difference between the two? Should we even try? This conference will examine this much-misunderstood herb from a variety of perspectives. Learn the surprising answers to questions such as, If it’s native to Southern Europe why do they call it Chinese Parsley?, and much, much more.

Lecture topics include:
Basil & Cilantro: Not Interchangeable
Cilantro is in the Carrot Family: You Like Carrots Don’t You?
Pungent, Not Soapy: Public Relations Perspectives on Cilantro
No Tasting! Italian Parsley and Chinese Parsley at the Market: Can You Tell the Difference?
End the Confusion!: The Case for Renaming Cilantro Coriander

Featured Luncheon Speaker:
Dr. Phil
“Tough Love: People Who Love People Who Hate Cilantro”

Panel Discussion
"Cilantro Aversion: Cultural, Genetic or Environmental?"
Panelists discuss their attempts to acquire a taste for cilantro. Some succeeded, some failed. One panelist, who loved cilantro, developed an adult-onset aversion to it due to overexposure to a dangerous salsa recipe.

Luncheon Menu
REAL Guacamole
ChiChiCi (Chicken Chile with Cilantro)
Coriander Sorbet

Cilantro Poetry Contest Winner!
There once was a woman from Toronto
Who was offered a taste of cilantro
When asked what she thought
She said, “It tastes as it ought
But better wrapped in a burrito.”

Evening Entertainment
Iron Chef Cilantro Edition
Celebrity chef showdown over who can come up with the most creative and palatable use of this mysterious herb.

Note to conference participants: On your way in and out of the venue, you may encounter protesters from the Stop Abusing Basil Coalition. If you happen to encounter them, accept their pesto and keep moving.